Remember the last time when you sat at the table with a group of high profile people and felt uneasy at the thought of table manners? Or were you on the other side, making someone like me uncomfortable by showing off your table manners?
If you do belong to the second category, then hey! mind you... I know manners that you probably don't know.
By now, you must have realised how much i'm fond of giving advice. So here's your guide to "eating etiquette in a group"
Note: the term group used henceforth refers to a group of ill mannered(mostly), hungry individuals that you might just happen to call your hostel mates."
!They maybe unbathed for several days.
Note for Note: do not get scared by the definition, its just the beginning.
Lesson no. 1 - How to be a gracious host:
If you happen to be the one to open the packets and offer the food to everyone, do not forget to help yourself to your part before you pass it over. The probability of getting your share decreases exponentially as the food passes through every trophic level. Moreover, you are progressively stared by hungrier eyes.
Lesson no. 2 - Concentrate and evaluate:
If you had been practising pranayam for a while, this is an excellent opportunity to exercise your skill. You must maintain utmost concentration on the food, keep a track of which new packet has just been opened, which group of people has a high food per capita index and which packet is beng shared among the maximum no. of thin people.
Lesson no. 3 - Beware!
Of fat people, very quiet people(they eat all the time), attention seekers(they divert your attention and grab your food), and people busy partying while others are eating everything up.
Lesson no. 4 - Incinerate your inhibitions:
Its time you pack all your inhibitions in a paper bag and put them to fire! just incinerate them. Thats because in this competitive world, survival of the fittest is the dictating law. So just be ready to fight, to procure your food by hook or by crook, by hand or by mouth, with or without spoon!
Oh and by the way, never mind other people's dirty hands, the only ones that go into your mouth are yours. Plus, they don't fall ill by using their hands, why would you?
Lesson no. 5 - Listen to your heart:
Listen to your heart because, there's no time to think. If you have had 4 slices of pizza already, and your heart wants another one, don't think, just grab it. It may not be there another moment.
After this, I can guarantee that you will feel content that whether or not you liked it, you made the best out of it. At no point of time did you lose the courage, zeal and enthusiasm for what was rightfully yours(your friends' is yours too)
Can you match it Mr. Table Manners?
